I will never forgive my parents for giving me a name I consider so passé. At the same time, it is so tiny, it comes to everybody's lips so fast - literally, in the blink of an eye, while making me vulnerable as the topmost inventory at their beck and call - Seema, pass on the book please, Seema, reach me a glass of water please, Seema, do this, Seema, do that and blah, blah, blah…Spare me please, there are maids in the house to run daily errands!
Sometimes I wish Shakespeare was alive - I would have locked horns with him and held on to my ground like the Rock of Gibraltar to refute his old avowal, "What's (kept) in a name?" After all, a name does matter, does it not?
Moreover, I have come across a lot of parents taking the book hunting route to find a beautiful name for their respective newborns, while some others have picked up celebrity names and so on. 'Humph!' I can debate for long hours and days together, also years and decades on this, because I am the unfortunate one whose name is a big turn-off.
I wonder if there is a solution to my plight? Or should I live with this name all my life? 'Bow, wow!' my dog, Pluto barks in teasing breaking my train of thought - even he has a better name than mine.
My depression almost tumbles down to the point of nadir until my mother suggests a way out, "Change your name after marriage" (there is a Hindu custom for the new brides to change their original names to something of their in-laws’ liking and also adopt the latter's surname at the same time; incidentally, change of surname after one's marriage is legally a global phenomenon too.
That sounds pretty good! But I will have to wait a long time for that. Another friend suggests, that I become a writer and have a pen name. The second option appears much better, so the hunt for a story begins and also for a pen name.
Veronica, I zero in on my favorite character from the famous Archie comics. I can also identify with her; I am brash, naughty and haughty like her. I have one more option, that of becoming a fashion designer - they have long names really. And long names do make an impact – Raja Rajkumar Rathore, Kristina Bajaj Zaveri etc. Don't they?
As all the above options seem to sound cool, my hunt for an appropriate name begins. 'Wow!' they say Science has changed the way we lived - I grin to myself sheepishly with the thought that my name change will surely change the way I live!
I start by rejecting the surnames of my contemporaries for a shortlist. For I won't give them importance by having them next to my name - no way, come what may! I also check a few surnames which are also figuratively self-explanatory. Kindly note that this is being written with malice towards none – and forgive me if it sounds harsh like the old boots on one's feet - it is purely tongue-in-cheek! Like Nari Hira (Did he inspire the tagline- Diamonds are a woman's best friend? Nari is a woman and Hira is diamond) Rath Chowdhary (Caught chowing in a chariot! Oops! Rath is chariot and ciao is chow) Bhardwaj (The backdoor entry) Bhar is back and the door is an entry, Batliwalas, Lokhandwalas and Bandookwalas - all sound like the scrap dealers (walas) of bottles, irons and guns, and they may not go down well with my feminine gender even- grammatically, a female suffix as "wali" in the face of "wala" would be more gender appropriate.
At the end of it, I get completely lost chasing a befitting name, therefore as the last option I decide to indulge in some wagering; I flip coins over two shortlisted names, I try out probability, I play lucky-dip, try occult, astrology, numerology and crystal gazing - but nothing helps, and leave me further baffled.
Thereupon, as the last option, I reach out to my mother and ask her to help me out.
'Leave it to time, it will give you the required solution', she replies astutely.
Years pass by, unfortunately, I am still stuck with the old name. Though I have found a stop-gap solution meanwhile. I adopt my favorite names for the characters I play in my books (written a few so far); Kitu, Sweety, Sunshine, Beauty, Yo-yo and Simu (and will be counting more with newer editions).
And then I meet a man who throws light on a historical surprise - three siblings (as the trinity offspring) of Adam and Eve - Cain, Abel and Seth. I am suddenly filled with happiness - why this simple fact didn't strike me before?
I stop looking for alternatives further since I no longer awe people for their names/surnames and don't yearn to marry just anybody for namesake any longer, for the simple reason that my surname is significant - etched in the Bible, as the first family on the earth - all Christians have to know me as a pious, mythological character - topping the list of all the civilizations till date.
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